By Liam Doyle

Teachers are always trying to tell students what to do, how to think and where to submit it. But what gives them the right to control our actions? After all, they are human too and deserve to be held equally accountable. So come with me as I take the perfect opportunity to use their New Year’s resolutions to do just that.

It seems our math teachers have been especially neglectful of themselves in the past year. So much so, teachers like Mrs. Myers and Mrs. Wieneke have decided to mark the new year with efforts to use their time more wisely. Mrs. Wieneke has decided it is finally time to stop her doom scrolling and Mrs. Myers is making the decision to allocate more time to exercising and taking care of her physical health. Additionally, Mr. Stevens has chosen to make time to practice playing the guitar– if you call that a resolution. Whatever the case, as their students, we should be sure to remind our educators daily of their responsibilities.

Our history department has made resolutions to significantly improve and worsen the lives of students. Starting on a positive note, Mr. Lightfoot is putting his best effort into finding and defining a stable middle ground for the appropriate usage of AI in school. Hopefully, with his efforts, ChatGPT will be available to all students without having to hide it. On the other hand, Mr. Dorr has vowed to make the lives of his students worse by assigning more homework, more tests and increasing the difficulty of his class. Hopefully, for the sake of our student body, Mr. Dorr fails to follow through with his New Year’s resolution.

Fortunately, our English and science programs have decided to spare their students from any additional hardships and are instead focusing on themselves in the New Year. Ms. Negele has decided to continue to be her fun and inventive self with her resolution to handwrite and mail cards instead of sending digital messages for special occasions; let’s see how long she lasts with that one. Mr. Glisson plans on keeping his sanity intact by not sweating the little things and Mrs. Eaton is going to drink more water. Maybe if she followed Mr. Glissons’ example, she would not need to drink so much water.

Repping for science, Mr. Carver has possibly the most accomplishable goal of learning a new skill, whatever it may be; we might as well just ignore him. We can expect Mrs. Reinders to be more reserved this year, as she has decided she wants to put herself first more, helping herself so she can help others. With any luck she won’t get too selfish because we do need her. Last and certainly not least is Mr. Reid, who has committed to walking unassisted by the end of the year with the help of his prosthetic legs. If it all works out, I’ll challenge him to a race into 2027!

In all seriousness, we love our faculty at SHS and wish them all the best at sticking to their resolutions (except Mr. Dorr, hopefully he falls through on his). So with our Senator Pide, we must take matters into our own hands and hold our local faculty members accountable for once. It’s only fair we also get the opportunity to judge them a little!

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