By Angel Efe-Nogo
In today’s typical teenage movies, the main characters are often depicted as “losers” who struggle to make friends, eat lunch alone or even suffer through the unforgivable act of getting pushed into a locker.
Growing up I thought I would fall into that same fate; I worried I would be unable to express myself among my peers and eventually dread going to school every day. Luckily, that was not my reality. I was fortunate enough to find a best friend who eventually became like family to me.
So I wondered: Do most teenagers have the same experience as me or is making friends in high school actually as difficult as movies and make it seem? To find out, I interviewed some of my fellow senior classmates at Springfield High School.
Here are the results…
To make sure answers were as accurate and fair as possible, I asked each senior the same main questions about their friendships. I started with my own best friend, Ainsley Lambert, and asked why she thinks we clicked so well. She explained that our personalities and interests matched, which made it easy for us to connect. This answer seemed to be the most popular among the friendships as several other students explained they became close with their best friend due to similar shared personalities, interesting humor or values.
More outgoing seniors like James Maeda naturally connected with other outgoing people like his best friend, Liam Doyle. This made me think that the saying “birds of a feather flock together” really is true.
It was even more common to see that most of these friendships held history long before high school. For example, Joel Ramirez explained that he and his best friend, Ben Perry, befriended each other all the way back in the first grade and they knew each other when they were in diapers…I didn’t even know to talk when I was in diapers!
On the other hand, some students have completely different stories. Some became friends with people they barely knew at the beginning of high school, like Lincoln Katalinich and Will Eichinger, showing that friendships can form at any point.
One of the biggest patterns I noticed is that most seniors did not think making friends in high school was extremely difficult. In fact, a common answer revolved around how almost everyone enters high school looking for new people to connect with, so what is there to fear?! Solidifying this point, Ceci Irwin responded with, “even though starting high school can feel intimidating, students are usually surrounded by other people who are also new and nervous.” Several seniors said simply talking to someone in class or joining a sport or club can be enough to build those friendships from scratch.
As I wrapped up these interviews, I wanted the seniors to share advice to someone who is struggling to make friends, and to my surprise their answers were all fairly simple:
“Stop waiting for someone else to make the first move”- Elizabeth Minch.
“Be brave and open” – James Maeda.
“Show up with a smile even if it has to be fake”- Kishan Ugrappa.
All these responses summarize the same idea– you do not have to become best friends with everyone you meet, sometimes having one person you can talk to is enough.
Overall, the main takeaway from my interviews is that making friends in high school for most is not as impossible as some of these Disney movies made it seem. These seniors are proof that even through different experiences, friendships usually begin when someone is willing to step outside their comfort zone and start a conversation.
So, if you are sitting alone at lunch, nervous about talking to someone in your class or scared to be alone, take one small step because you never know when one conversation could turn into a friendship that lasts far beyond high school.
